I’m on the couch watching Lanty rest in his new bed, something I’ve dubbed The Catsbah because of its pointed roof and tassels. In the hospital, the staff gave him a soft-sided little cube he could crawl into inside his small enclosure and he really liked snuggle in it.   Not having one quite like it at home (which is hard to believe, because he has lots of beds), we found him a similar model at our local PetSmart.

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We hit the pet mega-supply after an hour long visit with Lant last night at the hospital.  We’d brought brushes and bath wipes, and spent our visit grooming his sweet-smelling fur.  Lanty always smells so good.  He was really loving, leaning into his favorite cheek rubs and bumping heads with Derek with an enthusiasm we weren’t sure we’d see again.  It was a really great visit.  A gift, after his hard Monday where we just prayed for him to live through the night.

And now we’re home.  And we’re tired, both Lanty and me.  Since the initial diagnosis last Friday, I’ve been through a gamut of intense emotions; draining, painful emotions, moments of gratitude, slices of joy.  There’s a lot of flashing back to 2006 and dearest Kokoro’s rough journey through chemo and his lost battle. I thought I’d come to peace with losing him.  Lanty getting sick gives that grief a new flavor.

But there isn’t much time to dwell on the past or anticipate the future. Lanty is here now and needs my help.  He needs me to help him get the nutrition he needs; he needs me to get him the medicines he requires and the treats and yummies he craves.  He needs me to love him as much as I can.  I’m just so happy he’s here.